Unknown Fields

You have to give up the life you have to get to the life that is waiting for you.
~James Hillman, Psychologist.

I found that quote while reading my blog feeds. And I just felt like sharing that one life lesson. Don't let fears of the unknown stop you from going for what you feel is just right. You never know what's at the other side of the door till you dare go through it. Moments in our life are scary indeed, but we have to go through them, and if we believe and have some kind of faith, as small as it might be, even on your own convictions, things do get better. It sounds cliché, but after every storm, there is always a rainbow, somewhere, even if you don't see it. Hard times make us stronger, and only after we go through that can we only treasure what we have after. Otherwise we would ignore its value.

I've given up on many things in my life out of fear, especially of the unknown. But enough was enough, and as hard as it was, I did dare to venture into it. And so far, the path is bright and full of blossoming flowers, eternally spring, or at least a really long one. I don't regret the path I took before, but I do wonder sometimes what would have been if I have taken the one I really wanted. Past is past, but I really wished to tell people to ignore that fear, that is indeed there and just go for it. Show them who is in control, you or your fears?

Everyone wonders if the grass is greener on the other side. But few dare to try and have a look. Some do, and they just find out that theirs was greener. But just them having tried, is something not to be ashamed of. I'm not saying to be proud of, because it depends on situations. But… in a way, it all comes to you really knowing the value of what you hold. Is it important as you want to stay with it, or you really feel you should move on? I decided quiet some time now to cross that field; find out if the grass is greener; I actually decided that even if it wasn't, I would at least try to make flowers grow on it. So I brought some seeds with me. I couldn't see well, but there was this small seed in my hand, the rest in my pocket, and even if it was too dark for me to see the grass, I could feel it was soft. I could feel the grass beneath my toes gentle and soft and just wonderful. And I could feel the sweet breeze, and I wondered, "Could I stay just for a bit?"

I felt great yet afraid. And with fear I let that small seed drop to the ground. I couldn't find it because of how dark it was. Such an unknown place yet it felt like home. I felt sorry looking back, yet happy I decided to go and see, I didn't knew why, I just felt happy. And then, as the night went on I started to feel at ease. And at times I would feel the breeze reaching out to me, and sometimes none at all and I would feel afraid and confused and alone. And then I saw the moon in the sky, suddenly starting to shine in its full light. The moon, little by little illuminated the field, just to reveal the most wonderful and magical place I could have been in.

As the moon set in and the sun came up, it revealed a little plant coming out of the grass. Small, very small, so delicate, I was afraid to damage it. So I back up and let it be, let it grow. In the mean while I went to explore the deepest parts of the forests and all around the field. Some places I could not see well, some places are still yet unknown to me. But what I see it's still beautiful. Just when I was tired of so much walking, I sat restless in a spot, near the plant, looking at it from afar. And I fell asleep with the sweet warm breeze caressing me, making me feel welcome, and the sweet smell of the fresh grass below me. When I woke up, the rest of the seeds in my pockets fell on the grown, and I was surrounded by beautiful flowers. The little plant was taller and it got taller as the days went on. Now, it's a tree, and what a beautiful tree it is!

As afraid as I was of leaving behind what I left, just to explore such a place that I even couldn't see at all, I will never regret. This is home, and I am glad. And trees keep growing, and this one seems to be getting stronger and taller; reaching for the sun and the moon at night. The flowers fill the air with all the sweetness it can have; and I dance happily all around the field. The butterflies seem to love the flowers too, as they won't go away. They just keep playing around with me. I'm not afraid anymore, I did jump after all into the deep dark night, there is no way back. And I don't intend to go back anyway. This is my place now. Thank you.

<3

PS: This is how you change the world. Found that article ^^ makes me feel happy of such a world like this.

Korean movies are meant to be watched alone

I just feel like writing, and this movie touch my heart ^^
The Classic

I was searching through crunchy roll for some foreign movies (did I mention I love those the most?) I have a special liking for korean ones, hearing the language is like music to me, I don't know why. The music is my favorite too, nothing relax me more than classic relaxing korean music; and inspire me.

The Classic, just like the title says, it's you classic love story. The girl helps her friend win the guy writing emails for her. While she in fact likes him. The story starts with a rainbow and some doves and a small door filled with journals and letters. She read a box of letter from her mother, a box full of love letters from her mother's first love. And beneath them a journal. She start to read, just to find out her mother's story is quiet similar top her's. She is going to marry this nice but rather stupid guy. And the guy ask his friend to write her letters for him. She don't know they are friend, they meet in a precious river. The fall in love all in one day. They wondered in an old house which looked a lot like the one the main girl is living in, only renovated. Then they walked a bridge, and he catch her a firefly (closest and romanti thing to catch you a falling star). As a thank you gift for a wonderful and magical day, she gives him a necklace, round and silver, with a red stone in the middle. They don't see each other until school starts. Then the love triangle gets messy and the first guy end up trying to kill himself. All because he feared more his dad's punishment for not marrying the daughter of an important figure. He was not in love with her, and he knew his friend was.

He don't die, but this put a great distance between the lovers. He goes away, it's war time. Revolutions, wars and fights everywhere. She is part of the revolutionist, as well as the first guy. They meet again, and they see her love going away to war. They bid a painful farewell and she returns the necklace that he returned to her that day at the hospital after his friend's suicidal attempt. At war, he risk his life to get back the necklace, stolen by a fellow soldier.

Years later they meet at a cafe. She hasn't married and he ask her why, that he did. She starts to cry silently, and this has no effect on him. She is surprised at his cold reaction. Until he made a wrong move, a piano doll that wasn't there, he pretended it was. He was blinded in war. She cried and he tried to run but couldn't. He wanted to return the necklace but she told him it was his and gently put it back on his neck. They hug, and said goodbye yet again.

She married the first guy, and had a daughter, the one from the beginning of the story. While the child was around 5 she was standing staring at that river that once brought her so much happiness. Her daughter innocently playing with the fishes in the rocks. And three man in suit approached her and called her name. "Joo-na's last wish," they said. She started to cry like the whole world just crushed down. Her daughter looked at her trying to understand. They gave the box which contained the letter and the journal to her. Turned out, he never married until after she did. And he even had a son. (At this moment I was like "duh"). They spreath the ashes in the river.

At this moment, she finish telling her mother's story to the now -Boyfriend- of hers. After a bit of comedy when he end up sending the so-called-friend to where to she came from. He has to resist crying, and she looked at his confused. Sure, it was a sad story but you don't have to cry dude. I think that's what she thought. Until he looks at her, both sitting facing the sunset in the same river. And he smiled, and from his neck, he took off the necklace. (Big duh?) Her eyes watered (so did mine pfft. sissy me.) and the started to laugh at life's funny plays. She took the necklace. And once more, the story began. The walked the bridge, and he catch her the firefly. But this time it went as it should have been from the start. As he kiss her, she left the firefly go. I guess it is indeed better to have the kiss of who you love than any star in the sky.

Well, I liked the story, very much. A lot. If one thing I try to find in stories is symbolism. And how they give meaning to small things. The movies is much more than what I just wrote. A lot more happened that is better understood by watching. Like when she opened the gift and saw a line written in a card for her (but she thought it was for her friend). And when she reads the journal, she finds the exact same line. Guess the boy learned how to be a hopeless romantic from his father.

And so, my typical women night. Can't help it, every girl needs some extra-third-person romance in her life. I love the koreans for that. Because honestly speaking, the ones here in America, suck. Did I made sense? No? I thought so. ^^